Surnames: they're a key part of our identities.
They're how we remember other people and how they remember us. But for those of us born with, well, unfortunate surnames, life can bring unique challenges.
My name is Andy Mycock. Go on: now's your time to laugh.
I'm an academic (yes, I'm Dr Mycock) and much of my adult life has been shaped by my surname – covering up name tags, mumbling my name and trying to beat people to the inevitable joke. But I've had enough, and it's time for a change. I'm beginning a journey 58 years in the making.
For the first 18 years of my life, I had no idea my surname was funny. I grew up in Buxton, a market town in Derbyshire, where Mycock is a popular name. There are more than 2,000 in the UK, give or take.
We're all said to have descended from Solomon Mycock, a 19th Century farmer and publican in Buxton – there's even a temple in his name at the top of the hill in the town. So growing up as Andy Mycock, I definitely didn't stand out.
My life changed profoundly when I moved to Salford to go to university. On my first day, I quickly noticed that people laughed at my name when I was enrolling for my course, collecting my Students' Union card, and opening a student bank account.
For the first time in my life, I shrank with embarrassment. I realised my new life in the city would see me become the butt of many people's jokes.
On a daily basis, when phoning my bank or mobile phone provider, or going to a shop to pick up a parcel, I know someone is either going to laugh openly in my face or pull that wonderful face where they're trying not to laugh. You can never quite relax, because you're always just waiting for the raise of the eyebrow, the suppressed guffaw, the uninvited joke, whatever.
In the digital world, I have difficulties too: filling out online forms or setting up an email address can see my name rejected and the emails I send often go into spam folders. Searching for my surname is banned on some social media platforms.
My mother Patricia had a dreadful time when she took on the surname. Her joy of divorcing my father was twofold as she not only left a somewhat feckless husband, but also de-Mycock-ed herself.
Oddly, I grew up through my entire childhood with my father's surname – a man I did not meet until I was 19 years old.
My sisters changed their surnames as soon as they turned 16. I often thought about it too, particularly when I started to connect with the world outside Buxton and came to realise the cost of every social interaction.
My partner, Jennie, says she never really thought about my surname when we met and it has never been an issue for her. She was more concerned how it affected me – she was one of the very early people to pick up on it and go: "Hang on, you're not always comfortable with this, are you?"
We are finally going to get married after 25 years together. But she wouldn't take on someone else's name in marriage, whatever it was. She's also seen the effect my surname has had on me – why would you put yourself through that?
By meeting others with unfortunate surnames, can Andy Mycock learn to love his name?
Listen to Andy Mycock: Named, Unashamed on BBC Radio 4 from 19.15 on Sunday 19 April.
I've always found the surname has brought a certain level of shame, embarrassment and guilt. It's only in the last few years I've started to recognise that people remember me in a positive way that they might not if I was Andrew Smith or Andrew Brown. My surname is a great icebreaker.
Getting to the joke first has been a coping mechanism of mine for quite a long time. Humour can be a powerful tool, and so I've turned my experiences into a comedy show about life with an embarrassing surname. Last year, I performed at the Buxton Festival Fringe, to an audience packed with fellow Mycocks, and I am coming back this summer with a new show.
I've learned that it can be good to stand out from the crowd, and when I'm in on the joke, I'm more than happy for my surname to bring a little bit of mirth and lightheartedness.
I am not above laughing at other people's surnames. I think of the late Labour MP Seymour Cocks, for example.
My surname is amusing, so do enjoy it. But be aware, there is an emotional cost. Check the person you might want to have a laugh at is OK with it. Or alternatively, go and have a laugh around the corner and don't do it in our face.
📰 மூல செய்தி (Source): https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cql7eennngvo?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss
உலகம்9 years ago