Natalie Cassidy looks wistful as she thinks back to caring for her dying father in his final days.
"The final moments were breathtakingly hard but quite incredible really," says the soap star.
"I just remember holding his hand and stroking his arm, and saying, 'It's OK, you can go now, we're all good, you've done your job.'"
Cassidy says she was so inspired by her time spent looking after her dad that she's traded her day job to experience life as a carer for new BBC show Natalie Cassidy: Caring Together.
The show hopes to "shine a light" on Britain's struggling care system, which is facing severe financial pressures, staffing shortages and increasing closures.
Cassidy's journey to train as a carer sees her returning to the classroom to get a Level 3 BTEC in health and social care – her first time in education since leaving school at 16. Over the year-long course, she studies topics including autism, first aid and dementia and has placements at a childhood diabetes unit, St John Ambulance and in a care home.
"Caring for Dad right up until the end of his life, and losing him, was one of the most painful things I've ever had to do," Cassidy says. "But the people I met have changed my life and are so inspirational. That's what spurred me on to do this."
Cassidy is best known for portraying Sonia Fowler in EastEnders, a role she began playing when she was 10.
"I've only ever had one job, but I've always wondered what I would have done if I wasn't an actress," she says.
Cassidy says she grew up surrounded by care. Her mum cared for her nan, who lived with her when she was younger. "Caring has really been a thread through my life from very, very young," she says.
When her dad grew older and became unwell, Cassidy and her family moved into a house with an annexe so her father could live as independently as possible while being cared for by both her and his carer, Linda.
"She made it possible for me to go to work," Cassidy says. "And Linda was there at the very end, the end moments of Dad's life. I couldn't have done it without her, because it's a very, very scary thing to do."
At college, Cassidy is surrounded by teenagers who want to become carers and paramedics. She says she is amazed by the "empathy of these 17- and 18-year-olds".
One student who stood out is Tilly. Her mother has multiple sclerosis and is paralysed from the neck down, and Tilly has cared for her mum from a young age.
"There are millions of unsung carers just doing their business and going about it and they don't talk about it," Cassidy says.
The UK care sector has struggled with recruiting and retaining staff due to long hours and low pay. Historically it's relied on overseas workers but has been hit by recent changes to immigration policies, while the UK's ageing population is only going to increase pressure on the sector.
As Cassidy discovers, both unpaid carers and volunteers prop up social care.
The most recent Census data found there were around 5.8 million unpaid carers in the UK. Of these, nearly a third said they provided 50 or more hours of care per week.
Hundreds of unpaid carers have told the BBC they are under strain or overwhelmed. More than 600 responded to a BBC Radio 5 Live questionnaire, distributed by carer support network Mobilise, with more than a third saying that someone in their household had given up work to care.
Some described the loneliness, exhaustion and isolation which comes from their caring duties.
Though she was most interested in palliative and elderly care, and had already been volunteering at a dementia home, Cassidy was surprised how much other topics interested her.
While studying at-home care, she met Lisa, who has primary progressive multiple sclerosis, and her partner Gary, who cares for her. Meeting them was "very emotional", Cassidy says. "They are smiling, happy, in love. Making the best of what they've got."
But Cassidy's personal highlight was helping people with dementia, she says, including a former nurse who has Alzheimer's.
"Monica was such a lovely lady," Cassidy says. "I really, really, really enjoyed the dementia home."
"I genuinely came away from them and thought, I'm really going to miss them, I want to be with them again," she says. "I want to spend more time with them."
The launch of the series marks Caring Matters, a week of BBC content highlighting the role of unpaid carers. Episodes of Songs of Praise, Morning Live and Bargain Hunt, as well as broadcasts across BBC radio, will spotlight the role of carers.
Cassidy found some elements of her training very emotional.
"Of course it made me miss my dad," she says."Grief never stops – you don't grieve for someone and then it's over. It just changes.
"You change as a person – it shapes who you are, it shapes how you look at the world. You just get better at coping with it."
Natalie Cassidy: Caring Together starts on Monday 25 May 2026 on BBC One and BBC iPlayer at 13:30.
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உலகம்9 years ago